Marrying A Roman Catholic

Discussion in 'Faith, Devotion & Formation' started by Jellies, Jul 23, 2021.

  1. Silvan

    Silvan Active Member

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    So you will leave your boyfriend then.
    Because of some hateful postings against the RCC here.
    Mission accomplished.
     
  2. Stalwart

    Stalwart Well-Known Member Anglican

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    I’m not. It’s just that if you got to the stage of marriage, that to me is nearly the same thing. Maybe things got too serious too quickly when you’re young, and it wasn’t as serious as you made it seem. But if it was serious, I wanted to respect it. And when I say give it 2-3 years, it doesn’t mean being in relationship. People can take a break to have some room to reassess. I’m really not qualified to give detailed personal advice, which is why I concentrated on personal life strategies:

    -patience
    -facts above all else
    -providence
     
  3. Silvan

    Silvan Active Member

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    And your faith is baptism.

    Aha.
    That rings a bell.
    How often could I read these words that are both hateful and stupid; that Roman Catholics are no Christians ...
     
  4. Silvan

    Silvan Active Member

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    Of course not ...
     
  5. Jellies

    Jellies Active Member

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    well thank you. It’s not to the stage of marriage, not at all. It’s just that I think me and him should talk about marriage, because that is the point of dating after all. My actual problem is, do I want to make it serious?
    I will of course like I said, give it a week and pray. But I feel like there’s not much of a point in getting serious when he’s being like this and demanding so much from the start. People get worse after they get married don’t they? What you don’t like about them while dating you will like even less while married.
     
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  6. Jellies

    Jellies Active Member

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    Did you read everything else I posted? How he’s demanding the kids be raised Catholics with zero input from me, and won’t even get married outside of an RCC building? You honestly think the only issue here is “hateful things?” Which btw, no one has posted anything hateful. My faith isn’t baptism that is ridiculous. I am probably even going to start going Anglican if I ever move out of my parents house. Idk why you are commenting these things out of nowhere, you aren’t being helpful at all.
     
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  7. Tiffy

    Tiffy Well-Known Member

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    Wow! Fascinating history Silvan. So your village in Germany was part of the Celtic missionary outreach. I'm impressed. You are more Anglican than many Anglicans are going back to the Celtic Saints. Of Course we here in England got converted to 'Anglo-Catholicism' by St Augustine of Canterbury but the Anglican Church has always been a fusion of the Roman Catholic and the Celtic Church that pre-dated it in history, long before it became The Anglican Church of England under Queen Elizabeth 1st, became Reformed and wouldn't accept the Pope as it's boss anymore. (And got rid of one or two other bad habits too). :laugh:
    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2021
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  8. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    Jellies, based on the additional info you've provided, my hunch is that he has hoped all along to lead you to convert to Roman Catholicism. Just as you've had thoughts that maybe you can change him, he's been trying to change you. Am I right? If so, this isn't a healthy basis for a strong marriage.

    Unless you clearly hear the Lord tell you that he's the one, there seem to be enough red flags.

    I certainly can appreciate your sense that you are called to marriage and motherhood. It is a high calling as well as a ministry (meaning service), and it comes with much joy, sorrow, and responsibilities. God would not call you to that ministry if He did not have someone for you, somewhere and sometime. You have a good grounding in God's word, from the sound of it, and a portion of wisdom. (It definitely helps to pray for more wisdom, I can attest to it!) Be patient, stay faithful, and allow yourself to be led by the quiet voice of the 'inner witness.'

    How can you know if it's the Holy Spirit or if it's you? Well, we learn to discern by much trial and error, practically speaking, and learn from our mistakes. But the Holy Spirit will never counsel you to do what you know or suspect is wrong (sinful) or contrary to what you believe from the written word (Bible). He will usually nudge you very gently; God is a Gentleman and He does not force people. Our Lord is a God of peace, not turmoil, so He will give you a sense of peace about the correct course of action; when you think about doing the thing you're supposed to do, you should feel less agitated, not more. And if the thing you're consistently 'hearing' (on the inside) goes against your natural desires, that is a strong indication that it's not from you. (To illustrate, I did not have any intellectual desire to go to a liturgical church... quite the opposite, in fact!... but when God showed me that I should attend what is now my local Anglican parish, I felt joy and peace bubble up inside me whenever I thought about it, so I became willing & obedient and went, and after one service I knew it was right.)
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2021
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  9. AnglicanAgnostic

    AnglicanAgnostic Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget your boyfriend is probably honour bound to obey Roman Catholic Canon Law 1125 which states;
    --------------------------------

    Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:

    1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

    2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

    3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Of course you could claim that the Anglican Church is a catholic church.
     
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  10. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    Good point, I'd forgotten about this RC requirement. And it's unlikely that the latter claim (that the Anglican Church is a catholic church) would go over well with the RCs, because to them the "Catholic Church" is the Roman Catholic Church.
     
  11. Tiffy

    Tiffy Well-Known Member

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    But the wording is 'Catholic Church', so to it would be, by them, considered perhaps impertinent to confront the authorites of the Roman Catholic Church with the fact that they arrogantly assume that the "Roman Catholic Church is the one true church", as my ex was disdainfully catechized by the Roman Catholic nuns who educated her in Southern Ireland 70 years ago.

    Nevertheless it would be quite truthful to reply that you are both catholic in faith and the children will be brought up in the catholic faith. They probably wouldn't notice that you spelt catholic with a lower case 'C'. You then bring up your children with a knowledge of the dogmas of both denominations and let them chose which doctrines are true for each, when they are old enough to discern the differences and the importance of personally choosing which, if either, to believe.
    .
     
  12. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    How far can we go with that rationale? My wife and I raised our kids while belonging to a non-denominational Protestant church. We considered ourselves to be (and we were) a part of the universal church. Therefore we brought them up in the catholic faith (small 'c'). How do you suppose a RC priest would react to that? I think they'd most likely react the same way as if we'd raised them in an Anglican church: "No, that's not the Catholic Church!" :laugh: See, to the RC clergy and to most RC laity, only a church in full communion with the Holy See at Rome is a Catholic church. I've been there; I've seen how they think and speak.

    To a RC, Anglicanism and Protestantism both are viewed the same way: like cheap, disgusting Maxwell House instant coffee with artificial powdered creamer, whereas comparatively the RCC is a genuine espresso latte with real milk and plenty of whipped foam. (Sorry if my metaphor is making anyone thirsty!) ;) Or for you tea drinkers across the pond, a better comparison might be between a cup steeped from a ten-times-used herbal tea bag :sick: and a cup brewed from fresh, loose-leaf Earl Grey tea. :cheers:
     
  13. Jellies

    Jellies Active Member

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    Yes, thank you. I will definitely pray about this and try and make a rational and calm decision. I found your comment about how we can know it’s the spirit speaking to us very helpful :)

    I just don’t actually know what I want at this point, so I will need a lot of prayer and guidance from God. I don’t even know if it’s sinful or contrary to the written word to let my kids be taught something I believe is wrong. But I’m pretty sure they’d turn out fine in the end, my BF is wholly devoted to God. It’s actually my favorite thing about him.
    I guess not knowing my own ultimate desire is a product of this being my first relationship. Thank you for your help again, and everyone else’s help too. This forum is great and very friendly. I can’t wait to attend an Anglican Church!
     
  14. Carolinian

    Carolinian Active Member Anglican

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    Just make sure it is a faithful Anglican Church, even though I probably don't need to tell you that. :)
     
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  15. Invictus

    Invictus Well-Known Member

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    I would definitely take the time (I recommend several years) to visit around and thoroughly explore each option carefully. There are costs and benefits to each. Going from a non-sacramental praxis to a sacramental one can be equal parts jarring, thrilling, and overwhelming. Plus the whole approach to faith is just different. It’s a lot to take in.
     
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  16. Nevis

    Nevis Active Member

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    True!
     
  17. Nevis

    Nevis Active Member

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    Let me repeat
     
  18. Nevis

    Nevis Active Member

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    How nice and friendly …….:confused: