Understand I did not intentionally make threats to anyone in private messages. I was telling someone from a local Catholic church that I was hurt by some people from their denomination to the point of wanting to kill them, to test to see if he'd defend their abuses or offer sympathy. I was looking for encouragement. Instead, he reported my messages to the local authorities. I got out of that place on amiable terms. Still annoyed by this.
All pastors and rectors are different. Some are better at one thing than another. It's unfortunate, but not every one of them will be good at counseling, not every one of them will be good at budgeting time for returning messages, and so on. But when you need help, you need help. So don't hesitate to widen your search to other churches, and please don't hold one or two persons' unresponsiveness as characteristic of the whole. You're in LV, right? If I may suggest, try this one. http://www.wordoflifelv.com/ You're looking for assistance, advice, and someone who will listen; sometimes those things are found in a different place than our ideal worship pattern.
RF, When I was in the RCC the people (definitely not online!) in person were very, very nice. They were like many Anglicans, both laity and rectors/priests - mostly northern europeans (so harder to get to know) but friendly once you did (the ones I met) and even the priests I knew were very nice and compassionate. I never knew any bishops. I must have been luckier than you've obviously been and I so feel for your pain! I know that abuses are widespread in the RCC, but according to statistics all protestants, lawyers and esp. teachers are just as bad. In the church I'm going to now, the people seem nice, but the head pastor I have reservations about. The associate pastor is very nice. As has been said it's just the individual. I'm so very very sorry you've experienced such terrible things! I will pray for you too!
Thank you. I've written constantly about my repeated bad experiences with RCCs, some are overtly demonic in their character. I have done and said some bad things when interacting with them myself, but they always seemed to provoke it in some way or another, and sometimes it was even before they knew whether or not I was a Catholic. I am avoiding converting to their religion as much as I can. I also feel I can make a connection to their negative behavior and their heterodox teachings (i.e, boasting of works and righteousness, etc).
I am having anxiety attacks because I think there's a repressed memory from the two local Anglican churches I want to visit that were not good. One was an unpleasant meeting with the leaders of one of them at a public place, and the other was a very traumatic memory from a failed counseling session from the other. I need help and I feel that I am going to hell and predestined to end up there with no hope. I've had predestinationists like Calvinists tell me I am a rejected piece of junk that God is purposely tormenting for his own joy and that they can abuse me because I am reprobate and deserve hell. I am really scared and deeply disturbed. One of the leaders of the local Anglican church I mentioned may have counseled me years ago and said past abuses done to me by the religious were merited and I deserved them, which makes me scared if I ever see him, or even the people from the other churches, again.
I hope you are getting therapy and meds, RF. It sounds like you have had a very painful and limiting experience.
Not to minimize anything that's already been mentioned, but do you recall that I gave you a list of scriptures and recommended that you read them daily? (Better still, recite them aloud.) Are you doing this? You see, the very best medicine you can take is the Word of God. For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). The way to purge the mind of ungodly thoughts is to meditate on God's message of truth, which is filled with purity, goodness, and power to change lives. It is not God's will for you to have doubts about His grace and forgiveness, anger toward people who've hurt you, or unreasonable fear. Whenever these negative thoughts arise, recognize that they come from the father of lies and his servants, the demons. Counter their lies with truth from God! Push the bad thoughts away by reciting scriptures that speak of God's love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace; when you speak, your mind cannot continue to think those other thoughts because your mind is busy processing the words you are speaking. Also, you need to speak to the tormenting spirits and command them, in the name of Jesus, leave and do not return! If you do not believe you can do this, then seek counsel from a church (like the one I mentioned) where the pastoral staff understands the authority which Jesus Christ delegated to His disciples. Jesus cast out demons, then He sent out the twelve with authority to do the same, then He sent out the seventy with that same authority, and before He ascended He delegated the same authority to all who believe and call on His name: And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils... (Mark 16:17). Ephesians 1 says you have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus, and that includes the power to resist the lying, evil enemies who seek to drag you down to hell and torment you forever. NOW is the time for you to rise up and put a stop to them! Consider what it says in Rev. 12:10-11 -- And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony... Friend, you are being bitterly accused of unforgiven sin by the accusing evil spirits! How do people overcome these spirits? By the blood of the the Lamb (the blood which Jesus shed for your salvation) and the words of your testimony! You see, you need to change your testimony... change what you are saying, from words of fear, doubt and anger to words of confidence in God, faith in Jesus Christ, and forgiveness toward those who've wronged you. And remember: greater is the Holy Spirit within you than he who plagues the world with lies and abuse! Immerse yourself in the New Testament. Use a concordance or a Bible program like e-Sword (free download) to make a study of every time the Bible says "in Christ" and "in Him". Make a list of them and recite the most applicable ones out loud every day; they will help you to see who you are in Christ Jesus and how He thinks of you. You must make yourself a new habit, a new routine, and stick to it. Psa 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. Psa 1:2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Psa 1:3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
Rex, you are right about this. I just ordered a new anglican rosary that I've been wanting for a while now that'll be here by the start of next week. I will study my NKJV and then use the rosary to memorize and recite scripture passages with related themes. I am being told in my conscience to hang on and fight as long as I can to slay this dragon even though I feel defeated and stumble sometimes in doubt. I appreciate everyone's prayers and input and feel they are acknowledging my suffering unlike some bad experiences I've had with 'counselors' in the past. Thank you and God bless!
If you have been compulsorily hospitalised one has to wonder how you may be approaching these people. It may be they see not responding to you at this time may be for the best.
It was a mistake. I was explaining to a guy in an email (a local priest) about my anger to the point of killing some Catholics who had hurt me in the past. I wanted to test him to see if he'd defend their actions or offer encouragement to curb my anger. Thing is, there is a nagging feeling that he may be of the pedophile variety. I am better off not contacting him for now. I am disturbed and am struggling with possibly believing in a dark depraved Roman Catholicism, or being Anglican, or plunging into grief believing I am a piece of crap, dying, and going to hell because God does not want me or is finished with me.
I think the most appropriate thing for you at this time is to work with the mental healthcare professionals who are working with you. Posting these problems here is probably not for the best.
You're right, but I'm not working with any mental health professionals at the moment. I just want to get in contact with someone who has expertise on Christian and Catholic doctrines that is NOT Roman Catholic, preferably Anglicans. Otherwise, my worries are just going to remain regardless of how drugged up I'll get and how long I stay in some hospitals. I can only divert my mind from it for so long. I have had health issues from visiting religious forums in the past and have suffering a lot of confusion and pain, so yes, you are right I shouldn't be here anymore. I apologize. I keep saying I'll go away, but it's like a drug. Again, this is virtually the same problem I've had with religious forums before. It's a hard habit to break.
I want to tell you you are a valuable and special person; God created you in His image, but He made you unique, and uniquely beautiful and filled with special gifts and attributes, like all His children, and I and the rest of us here love you and will pray for you.
As a new member to this site (this is my first post), I'm having a much more difficult time converting to Anglicanism than the those who have posted here (donkeys years ago when I contemplated converting to Catholicism, RCIA was like a tollway: quick entrance, Catholic lay leaders were exceptional in answering questions, classes were given 4 x's per year, both am/pm and the priests/brothers/sisters that I met could not have been more kinder). Converting to Anglicanism has been an uphill battle (unfortunately). Over the past two years I've contacted 3 ACNA, 6 ECUSA, 1 REC and an ACC congregation with no success. The closest I've come to 'getting my foot in the door' was attending a 3- hour membership meeting/dinner held at the largest ECUSA church in Houston, a very affluent congregation where President and Mrs. Bush were members. What drew me to this congregation was not only their extensive number of church ministries but the wonderful membership/spiritual formation staff I met. That night, the rector stated at the end of the 3-hour meeting (we were told this was "the hard sell") that membership at his church was based exclusively upon "being known to me and the treasurer", i.e., upon joining a spiritual formation class one had to fill out a bank withdrawal statement giving a minimum of 20% of income (30% or more was requested). The priest, who I found to be extremely well read, phenom speaker, full of bonhomie stated that anyone who did not give to the church would be denied the Eucharist as well as "membership within our congregation." A young lady sitting next to me who was a Methodist looked at me, her eyes bulged then shook her head. Others around the room stiffened. I quietly slipped out of the banquet hall and drove home, quite upset. A few days later I called three ACNA parishes. I spoke with the priest of the first and after small talk he asked, "are you married?" No. "Oh, are you divorced?" No, again. "I see ... well ... do you have kids?" No, I do not have kids. He gave out a long, audible sigh and stated, "I'm sorry we're not into that. We don't do singles groups. We don't have that there. Were a family church" I explained to him that I was converting to Anglicanism to worship Christ - not find a wife and that I was also discerning a possible monastic vocation. He cut the call short and stated the there was a Methodist church down the street that had a "vibrant singles group." Somewhat flustered, I then contacted Bishop Beach's office to ask for help in finding an ACNA congregation that would accept someone who is single; they were very helpful and directed me toward the 'church finder' on the ACNA website. Unfortunately the other two congregations I contacted said they prefer someone that is married/divorced *with children* and one congregation stated that since my current church membership (bible church, 25+ years) does not possess valid apostolic succession, it was best if I went to a Presbyterian or Methodist church and "begin there" (a secretary stated that this would at least introduce me to the creeds, the Eucharist, and the English Reformation). Several weeks later I went back to the ACNA church finder and called the new St. Patrick's Mission (local church plant) and left several messages (none were returned). After further prayer, I then turned toward ECUSA and attended several progressive churches but one (female priest) stated that confirmation classes took place only once per year, I would have to apply in person, join a ministry, give, but would not be allowed to take the host during services "unless you are known by me and the vestry" (or after confirmation from the bishop). Her and the members of that congregation gave off a "please leave" feeling so I did not return. Another affluent progressive congregation (on the other side of Houston) stated that since I did not have children - necessary in order to complete the online membership forms - it might be best to go elsewhere. I have returned back to prayer for direction - the Father's guidance. Thank you. Mick When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. John 19:30 | NASB
Oh wow - how hard it has been for you. I live in Australia and it was simply a matter of showing up at the church and attending Mass until I got to know the priest and some parishioners. I participated in some things like coffee/tea after Mass etc. Then I asked the priest if I could be received into the Anglican Church as I had been a Roman Catholic and was baptised and confirmed already. No problems. The bishop came to a Sunday Mass near Christmas time at which I was received and that was three years ago. We have another woman who is waiting for the Bishop to come receive her as well, but because of his schedule, she will probably have to wait until Easter. No one asked me about money or marital status or any of those things, just about whether I had been baptised and confirmed, and whether I wanted to renew my baptismal promises and could accept the teachings of the Anglican church etc. Over time I chose to contribute financially but it was never a condition of my acceptance. Your experience sounds so disheartening. I do hope you manage to find someplace that isn't so focused on such strange things.
Wow... Wow, you certainly have seen obstacles placed in your path. It would have flustered many not serious about finding an Anglican home or at least surveying an Anglican home. I am fortunate in that I have two Anglican communities within very reasonable distance of me, plus a large Episcopal community. I am with the Anglican Catholic Church now. The other nearby parish is of the APA. The parish I attend is a mission-church. It is overseen by the Archbishop/Metropolitan of the Anglican Catholic Church and a Canon of the Church. Our current parish-priest is a Canon himself, but took on the role due to our regular parish-priest taking a leave for a bit. I know in our parish we have multiple singles, male and female, that feel comfortable there. Our vestry has persons from the age of 20 to 80. I would say to contact the office of the Archbishop of the ACC directly to get some information on a local parish in TX that may fit your needs and wants. Such contact information is on their website or Facebook page. I also am in constant contact with the Prior of Stilfontein Priory in the state of Virginia. He is an ordained Anglican Catholic priest, but is also a vowed Benedictine monk. He carries the OSB after his name. They, too, have a website and Facebook page for any information you wish to request.
That is quite a story. I have never hard anything like it. I am sorry. At my ACNA parish just come. We have a membership class before you can be confirmed and such but come. Single, married, divorced, kids no kids come. Come on Sunday. Come on Wednesday. Come anytimes the doors are open
Thank you for your post. In 40+ years as a Christian I have never been asked these questions from either a Baptist or Catholic Church. During the RCIA process the worst comment I heard, from a Franciscan, "Im sorry ... but the coffee maker is broke tonight. We blame it on the fall."
Thank you for your kind comments. I am likely going to attend a new ECUSA parish outside of Houston next Sunday (barring work, parental caregiving). They did not respond to my questions by email or phone calls but the parish is close to my parents residence.