Hello :-)

Discussion in 'New Members' started by Shaun, May 17, 2019 at 5:25 PM.

  1. Shaun

    Shaun New Member

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    Hello all, great to be amongst you, I hope you are all in good health.

    Here is a little about me.

    My father drowned when I was 12, he wasn't around too much so I never really had a father anyway, we were getting ever closer before he tragically died though which was sad.

    I never really knew about religion growing up and turned into quite a hateful atheist. I never intended to find God, it just happened. I still remember it clearly and the scripture that made me stop still. I purchased a book by Norman Vincent Peale, called, The Power of Positive Thinking. I bought it to try and change my mindset and turn my life round to a more positive direction, I read no where on the reviews any mention of Christianity. Well, although not looking and being an atheist, something happened that day and thank goodness it did, thank God it did. At a mad moment in my life, sitting in the segregation unit in a Kent Prison I was reading when Norman quotes, quite out of the blue, Psalm 23, Verse 2-3 I believe, "He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul". Something touched me that day, I could visualize it so clearly, Jesus with me, standing with me beside a lake, no words needing to be spoken, His hand on my shoulder as He waved His hand over the waters and calmed the storm. I have never looked back!

    I reached out to the Chaplaincy in the prison I was in and my journey began. I completed many courses and eventually was Baptised on 17/12/17. Amen.

    I have been fighting many battles since, I believe the devil doesn't want to let me go, but I strive as best I can to live a better life.

    I feel that because I am undertaking a new chapter in my life, whereby I try to live righteously and true to God, that perhaps I am hitting slight hurdles. Creating new habitual pathways is no easy task. But, I live with hope, knowing that consistency is the key to victory. Life is good and so is God!

    I have these mad urges to go out and see friends but that isn’t a good idea, I guess it’s all I ever really knew! I have never had a circle of friends in which I can go out with and come back home the same evening without having got absolutely slaugtered, out of it on drugs and alcohol and who knows what else, regretting the day/nights events!

    I’m also fighting mad urges to not visit a female friend. We really are not good around each other. She is on my case most days but I have pulled myself away. If I allowed it, she would have me round there every weekend. She is always asking for me to come down but I know it’s not a good thing. Unmeaningful sex is not what I want to ever have again. Debauchery as I read in the Bible. It does nothing in terms of making me feel good, perhaps at the time but that is it. Guilt strikes me afterwards, like I have let myself down, let God down, let Jesus down. A part of me wants to see her happy and make her smile but at the same time I do not love her and I have told her this yet she still persists quite happily. It is not for me no more and I am recognizing that now. I hope I can stay away from her. We have some great times, in terms of going out to restaurants and to the movies, visiting various places etc but it almost always ends up with alcohol, drugs and sex. I just don’t want that anymore in my life!

    I can go a few weeks with studying and being in the zone then randomly someone will message me and that’s it, off I go! Justifying whatever it is I have chosen to do by telling myself I deserve a treat because I have been working so hard. I will just have one beer, it will be different this time, I say to myself. It never is!

    May I find renewed strength in the Lord and new people to talk to also. My hope is that by joining a site such as this I can be amongst like minded people, fellow Christians. I come from a rough background and have been in and out of prison for ten years but I can’t do it no more. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13 - I sought the Lord with all my heart and I feel His presence now with me always. He has bigger and better plans for me and I intend to make him proud. I understand that He knows I will slip, I will fall, but I will pick myself up and carry on. I will try, try and try again. I will do whatever it takes in order to lead a better life more in line with the Word of God. “He knows the path that I take, when He has tested me, I shall come forth as Gold” Job 23:10

    I will not give in! May the Lord remain with me always as I fight my battle to stay true to my Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be His name! Praise be to you my Lord. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, for always being there and never judging me but accepting me for who I am, a sinner. I hope to come ever closer to you and will never stop trying.

    Though I have fallen, I will rise. Micah 7:8

    Great peace have those who love your law and nothing causes them to stumble. Psalm 119:65

    I love the fact that I now do have a Father, someone who loves me and cares for me and wants the best for me. I have nobody around me whatsoever, I would go as far as to say I don't have any friends. I think I lead a pretty lonely existence. I think that is partly due to me pulling myself away from old circles. In time I feel that could change. People call me a hermit, they never see me. but it's important I proceed on the path I am trying to stay on. It is for the best. God doesn't want to see me suffer no more. The old associates were never friends. Only around when you have money or drink or drugs or a place to go. Sod all of that. It's taken me a good ten years to realize this but thank goodness I have now. Thank goodness God has opened my eyes to see the wonderful truths in his instructions Psalm 119:18


    Anywhoooo, great to be here.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my intro.

    :)
     
    AnglicanAgnostic and anglican74 like this.
  2. mediaque

    mediaque Member

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    Welcome to the forums. Great intro, thanks for sharing.
     
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  3. anglican74

    anglican74 Well-Known Member Anglican

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    Welcome friend and incredible intro
     
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  4. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 New Member

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    Keep praying and reading scripture. Great introduction
     
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  5. Botolph

    Botolph Well-Known Member

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    welcome among us
     
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  6. Shaun

    Shaun New Member

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    Thanks everyone, I appreciate the welcome ^_^
     

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