I've been reading this forum on and off for 8 months or so and thought it time to sign up and say hello, I've really found this forum a great source of information from posters past and present. Just a little background on me, I'm fast approaching 40 and ordinary working class guy, baptised in the CofE and pretty much spent all my adult life bordering on the atheist belief system and all that comes with it, never married as its just a piece of paper to me with my thinking of old! I have kids but something changed since the birth of my daughter last year. I kept an open mind and my ignorant views and foundations slowly started to crumble, after hours if not days of study I fully surrendered to God and prayed for the first time from the heart for forgiveness and for guidance from the Holy spirit. The first thing I did is go to Church for a Sunday service which I enjoyed, I got to speak with the priest at the end and mentioned briefly that I was new and had picked up a King James Bible, first thing he said was I should get a better translation, this confused me a little so did some study so got hold of a NRSV to complement it even though I had a dictionary for archaic words. I ended up sending an email that day directly as I felt it right to let him know who I was, sort of explaining about my predicament and that I'm not just coming to get the baby baptised like most do never to return, that's the first thing a lady thought as she asked are we here for baptism so said no not yet. I was very open and honest but never said anything disrespectful, I suppose I was looking some advice because I made it clear my girlfriend was very willing to get baptised and confirmed as she comes from a non religious background. I was looking forward to some guidance, I never got a reply but the following week after the service the priest awkwardly admitted he's not got round to replying yet but would do which is fair enough. Anyway, I never did get any response! Due to changes with work I couldn't attend the next few weekends but then after that I just felt awkward being honest. I'm certainly not a needy man and never asked anything awkward it was an open goal to get a family involved to come to church. I started to see things differently and it seemed to this priest it was just a job? being baptised in the CofE made it my first port of call, I was drawn to the Anglo Catholic side and belief in Scripture so it was also depressing checking in my village and town I grew up both having a Woman priests, I'm not sexist it's just wrong going on scripture alone! So I've been an at home Bible reader since. Everything I've seen in the media from the Church of England during the lock down has been horrendous, they come across as pompous middle class Liberal Democrats, that priest in Manchester calling for sackings wasn't the icing on the cake it was the Archbishop of Canterbury playing identity politics saying Jesus was black recently a week after saying statues will have to come down. I think during this crisis they have turned more people away to even consider going to a CofE, just my honest opinion coming from knowing nearly nothing. I don't know where this will lead me but I think Gavin Ashenden speaks very well on recent YouTube videos, will it lead me to be Catholic? I don't know. It all sounds so great reading the 39 articles and links from this forums site but the reality is its miles away from the CofE now. I've often thought about contacting that priest via phone but it just isn't worth it, like he's had plenty of time at home doing nothing since the lock down maybe I'm just too much a sinner to have in the small select group. Sorry if this seems a rant and I don't doubt there are many godly people within the CofE I'm just going on my own eyes locally. St Bartholomew the Great in London online services have kept my interest that all is not lost with the CofE but that's a seems a world away from my market town in the Midlands! I try to avoid politics as I've little interest but it seems to me the CofE comes across as a wishy washy lib dems party, these games have nothing to do with the Gospel. Apologies if I come across as attacking, I thought it would be easy to just turn back to Church, repent, get married and lead a true Christian life trying to follow Jesus!