Christians *Struggling with Immoderate Desires

Discussion in 'Faith, Devotion & Formation' started by Jean K, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Jean K

    Jean K New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    10
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Christian
    Hi all,

    First time poster, I guess I wanted to take some of my discussions to a larger audience to hear other thoughts, be refined and challenged by fellow believers as well, also good to keep myself in check as I grow.

    So, I'm a *new christian and when I say new, I mean i went to church for 20 years, but didn't know God, but when I actually found a relationship with Jesus, thats when everything changed.

    My question is probably one that has been discussed before many times. But where is the line with a Christian *struggling with immoderate desires. For me being exposed to them at a young age and pumping my mind with its poison for years and years, it was always something I struggled with. I'd have good days bad days, good months bad months but it was always a tiresome burden, that I knew I could fall victim to at any time.When Jesus came into my life a lot of things changed, and this is one thing for me personally made a massive impact, as my struggle was defeated, I had a renewed mind, and not only that I have come to hate it, it enslaves the sons and daughters of God, and is so deadly and destructive.

    And I look at how I fought this, previously when I was religious, and then now with Jesus in my life. Its so powerful yet hard to relay fully to everyone, because I'm the only one who can truly see my heart and how he has changed it, I am no longer even tempted by it. So I hear a lot of Christians who struggle with it, and I am trying to define the line I guess without being to legalistic, as to whether or not a person has truly met Jesus if they still have this struggle. Don't get me wrong we're all different in our struggles, and have strengths and weaknesses, I have other areas where I may be weaker etc. But it is such a which requires some effort to execute, and it lingers for quite a time.

    I don't want to be too judgmental, but at the same time where is the point where I say to someone "I don't really think you know Jesus" and maybe that's the more important thing to work on?

    Thanks
    Jean

    adjusted
    -admin
     
    Toma likes this.
  2. Toma

    Toma Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    1,419
    Likes Received:
    1,092
    Country:
    Canada
    Religion:
    Anglican
    this addiction is a big problem today, admitted or not. The world is even more filled with images & icons (not of heavenly things but of earthly things) than it was years ago. We're constantly assaulted by subtle things outside & inside. Immoderate desires are an ancient thing, but it is made more prevalent by the overt culture of sensuality and comfort we've gotten to.

    It degrades human beings completely into objects. It takes away all their personality and makes them into sculptures to be admired and put in awe of. It's simply idolatry disguised as release. We can support one another here!

    adjusted
    -admin
     
  3. Jeff F

    Jeff F Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    377
    Likes Received:
    359
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    Conservative Believer
    Great topic, and welcome! Immoderate desires are an exact marketing science these days that has permeated our culture, finding massive avenues on the internet. In the 50's, 60's, and 70's it was a mail order outlet for magazines and the occasional 8mm movie, but now with smart phones, on demand, and interactive streaming video at every place of business, it's readily available to anyone within seconds. To say that someone who still struggles with this issue post conversion isn't a Christian, would be a stretch for me. I see Justification as an event and sanctification as a lifelong process. I'm glad that you were delivered from it, but the other sins that you still struggle with (myself included) are equally disturbing to God. Jesus Himself even put a finer point on the issue by defining adultery as an impure thought of the heart with no physical action necessary. Your approach to the subject is the best offense I've seen to date. Parents who struggle with this should imagine their own son or daughter not only participating in these productions, but viewing them as well, and be repulsed. Same principle with alcohol, the media would have you believe that when you open their beer, the Swedish bikini team parachutes in to party with you. I saw the reality of alcohol as a Police Officer and shared it regularly with my children.

    Jeff

    adjusted
    -admin
     
  4. Admin

    Admin Administrator Staff Member Typist Anglican

    Posts:
    500
    Likes Received:
    207
    Folks--
    Please remember that there may be children reading this forum, and promiscuity with language in our culture may be the very thing that contributes to the problem this thread was started to discuss.

    It is the first thread of its kind and we want to set up the right culture which future threads will be able to follow, so the thread title has been switched to something more innocuous, and posts adjusted accordingly. In the future we may have a protected section where topics can be discussed more openly.
     
    Toma likes this.
  5. luke

    luke Member

    Posts:
    56
    Likes Received:
    51
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Christian
    This is something i myself have been struggling with for the past few years. Like you "Jean" i was introduced to it very young as my father thought it was "Good for me". I never felt it was a Huge problem for me during my adult life until after my first child. Once my wife pulled back from me to focus on the needs of my children, i found myself getting really depressed from the lack of "attention" my wife wasn't providing me.

    I started downloading videos every night and would rarely watch the same one twice as i would pick faults in the "appearance" or "acting" of a model so i kept looking for different "Models". Soon, having variety wasn't enough , i started looking for more and more .....Well lets call it "degrading material", lowering the standard every week as the normal stuff wasn't enough any more ( If it was a Drug , i would say i was building a resistance to it, so i needed new levels of it). Eventually i got to a point where i had 600GB of videos on my hard drive and some of it was ( looking back) rather disturbing. It was consuming my mind , as the first thing i would do when waking for work in the morning would be to check for new videos, and after work , i would enter my house , ignore my wife and child so i could check my downloads progress.

    One day , my wife simply asked me, "what is so important on your computer that it takes priority over your family? I choose not to answer the question , instead i started a argument, upset her and left the room. At that time , i was looking for answers within Christianity ( as i had been attending church on and off again for some time) and attempted to pray on it that night ( as my wife's question and my reaction had cut me rather deep), the next day, i awoke with a new view on the topic, it was the first day in my life i felt that this kind of material was wrong and i needed to remove myself from it as such I deleted all my videos from my PC and removed the links i had to those sites.

    Now for the problem, this stuff is EVERYWHERE , Its on TV, its on the Internet, its at work, its in shops and its even on the Public Radio . To totally ignore its existence would be impossible so i had to start thinking about how to handle this within my self. I have come to a decision that the naked form was not the issue, the human body is beautiful and the work of the creator, the issue is within my self with LUST. As such i no longer go looking for this kind of product but everywhere i look it is shoved down my throat, i just remind myself of what Jesus said about "adultery of the heart" and that is usually enough to keep my mind under control.

    Although i feel " In touch with Jesus" in my life , i am definitely not free of this curse, i have failed at least 4 times within the last 2 years and i think it will be a battle i will be fighting the rest of my days. If some feel like " i am not a true Christian " or as you put it " i don't know Jesus" , then i am sorry for that person, as honestly , Jesus is the only one keeping me strong on this , he knows i have very little strength myself.

    To Admin , i have tried to keep this as Family Friendly as i could to still be able to Share my story , if you feel you need to clean anything up , i completely understand.
     
    Old Christendom likes this.
  6. Admin

    Admin Administrator Staff Member Typist Anglican

    Posts:
    500
    Likes Received:
    207
    Thank you luke your effort is appreciated.
     
  7. Jeff F

    Jeff F Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    377
    Likes Received:
    359
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    Conservative Believer
    Not sure why the word I used was offensive or potentially dangerous to youth, but I will respect your decision. BTW, since we're concerned about children and others reading this forum, could we stop the vicious attack and bloviating windbag arguments by a select few on other threads? 13 pages of angry rebuttal and rheems of cut and paste are excessive.

    Thanks...........Jeff
     
    Gordon likes this.
  8. Jean K

    Jean K New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    10
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Christian
    Hey guys,

    Thanks so much for the honesty and openness, this is exactly what I have been looking for to really refine myself and check myself within my Christian family. Admin, apologies for my wording in my post, I had no intention of causing any problems for minors, just as a thought though, seeing the frankness of Luke here is an encouragement, and I think would be of help to people struggling with the issue.

    You hit the nail on the head Jeff, a good confirmation, God sees all disobedience as sin, and rather than legalistically trying to solve each of these problems we all need to check that our hearts are repentant and wanting to change.

    Luke, thank you so much for sharing, this is what I've been looking for, real men who can be honest. This definitely helps me and also acts as a rebuke. I am constantly reminded of how patient God has been with me. And brother I can say I completely understand where you are coming from. The constant need for it, the deepening levels, as the more I delved into it there seem to be a lack of satisfaction and craved more 'variety', and the total depression of how this poison had such control over me and how I was unable to stop it. The amount of time and energy that I spent on this disease is incredible and yes I sacrificed good things to spend time with it. Thank you so much for sharing it so openly, and yes while I am free of this curse, I still have to check myself with the way I look at women. Some of those images are still burned into my mind and I can bring them back as instantly as a thought. You are definitely not alone in this struggle.

    And yes, the world, I worry for our kids, if back then, when I had such easy access to VHS tapes and magazines, how deadly when anyone can access this poison with a touch of their phone. Truly I feel we are in the end days, where I see so many kids affected by this. I can't even browse facebook.

    One thing I want to make clear Luke is that I am not judging you, I felt like I was starting to do that hence I came on here to challenge myself. I have friends in a similar situation to you but the key difference here is they are unrepentant.

    I have a challenge though for you, and I do not mean this in a self-righteous way, I am so excited that you are on the path to becoming free from this disease. Luke can I challenge you and assure you, that Jesus Christ our living Savior can deliver you completely from this. Now I don't mean that in a fluffy cloud bumper sticker slogan kind of way. I mean that in away and I tell you this with great excitement as I myself was in your situation and felt the exact same way, that it would be my lifelong struggle.

    To walk with Jesus is definitely hard, but there is nothing more joyful I have found. Jesus changed my burdens, *Immoderate Desires still burden me but in a different way. I see it now, as abuse, more so abuse of our wives, daughters, sisters, because I'm a man. I see in these productions that they've been lied to, to be used and exploited, no matter how glorious people tell me some of the certain professions are. They have been lied to either by the lie of its glamor or their worth. There are also women in these that are there out of desperation and addiction, and us men as their caretakers who have failed the duty to protect them. And for me to partake in that in any of this, would be no different to the abuse you read in the news. I am not telling this to guilt you or condemn you, I am just sharing how God changed my heart on it.

    Luke, I am so grateful that you have opened up, brother I am praying for you. Jesus gives life to the full, I challenge you to trust Him that He can rid you of this disease completely, I can testify to that.

    Something practical, and I don't know if there is any dislike for this preacher as I know within certain circles different preachers are heretics etc. But please, have a listen if you get a chance to the Sermon Series "Real Marriage" by Mark Driscol.

    http://marshill.com/media/real-marriage

    I will be praying for you and your family

    May you rebuild and heal with Jesus as your foundation, re-kindle the love with your wife with the love Jesus empowers and raise a strong family against the darkness in these times where hope seems small.

    God bless
     
    Jeff F likes this.
  9. Lowly Layman

    Lowly Layman Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,217
    Likes Received:
    1,978
    We can have a personal relationship with him through prayer and spiritual conversation. Jesus may speak to you in only those three ways but the scripture attests that it is possible to speak personally to God and to have him respond personally. I've had that experience more than once, and I know many others who have as well. Mystical experiences and revelations are the backbone of the church's spirituality.
     
    Tiffy likes this.