Blaming God for every bad thing that happens

Discussion in 'Personal Advice, Care & Prayers' started by Laine, Jan 8, 2023.

  1. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Confession time. For the past six years or so, I have been blaming God for EVERY bad or inconvenient thing that happens to me, a daily occurrence. I attract bad stuff like a moth to a flame. Yes, I've thanked him for the blessings, but I will do a complete 180° and scream at Him when the slightest thing happens, from misdirected mail packages to my mother's difficulties in her nursing home (a huge daily problem). I've cursed at Him as well (yes, things are that bad). At the end of my rope.

    I feel that God can and should fix things, make life easier when we're going through crises, especially, but of course, everyone in the world experiences these things and don't have my rotten attitude. Where are the angels? Where are MY helpers (per Mister Rogers)?

    I am alone in the world (family all dead except my mother who is helpless herself). I've exhausted therapist's help (heard it all, sick to the teeth of Job's story), so it's between God and me. Why is God forcing me to face EVERYTHING alone, IF God exists these days? I have served Him faithfully in the past, and now all this in my later years...

    Will anyone else admit to feeling this way, and if so, did you get through a very long Dark Night of the Soul, and how do/did you avoid it in future?

    Thanks very much....
     
  2. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Active Member

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    I don't know if you have mental health issues that cause you feel so negative but is there any way you could try to turn things around and start looking at the good things in life instead of the bad. Yes, we all have bad and good things and it is a matter of trying to focus on what is beautiful, even if it is something as simple as being grateful for the food you eat or enjoying nature or a sunset etc. When bad things happen, I try to accept that this is a part of everyone's life, not just mine. And when I focus on the beauty and goodness of the world, I thank God for even being able to appreciate these things.

    It can be something really simple. for example, I really love my cereal breakfast in the morning, so I thank God for such a simple pleasure and for having food at all.

    Alone? Yes, some of us are alone. I am 70 and live alone with 2 cats. I focus on loving my cats and being grateful for having such a long life. I think if you really start making a list, you can find so many things to be thankful for. Then just give God credit for those things. And try to accept that life is a duality - there is always going to be bad, but there is also always going to be good. It is a matter of where we focus our attention.

    Good luck.
     
  3. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Thank you, Annie, but my situation goes a bit deeper than just being "thankful" and refocusing, or adapting the "get over it and move on" approach. There are some theological questions involved I hoped some minds greater than mine could address. Perhaps this isn't the venue to get such insight but thought I'd give it a shot.
     
  4. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Active Member

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    It's hard to know how to respond to a problem without details. If you have theological questions, there are many people on here who are very learned and well educated in theology. Perhaps you could give them a little more information to work with.
     
  5. Tiffy

    Tiffy Well-Known Member

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    Theologically your problem may be bound up in the fact that you seem to be attributing every single event which you experience here on earth is actually God's doing. They aren't. Most of the events we experience are either natural events or the result of human deeds, either deliberate or in ignorance.

    Christ did not blame God for getting him nailed to a piece of wood. Christ didn't even blame the people who actually HAD nailed him to a piece of wood. He asked God's forgiveness for them because of their ignorance. Most of our suffering is the result of our own or other's ignorance. If it makes you feel better, go on blaming God. The Psalmists were very good at it, - God has very broad shoulders - we can either blame Him or seek solace from Him. After all he has been through this life himself, (tap this link and read the whole passage). He knows just how frustratingly annoying events and people can be when ALL one is trying to do is find it out and then do God's will.
    .
     
  6. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    Laine, I understand how you feel. I was very angry with God because my wife lived with horrible pain for years and then started suffering through multiple bouts of even worse pain with diverticulitis. We prayed and believed God for healing all those years, and it didn't look like God was doing anything. I yelled at God, "If you loved her, you would heal her!" At the time I was in a church which taught that if we had enough faith in God, He would bring us through any situation in victory; He would definitely heal us, prosper us, etc.

    My sister has had chronic illnesses, too. She lives with chronic pain ("6 on a scale of 1-10" on a good day). When I tried to teach her what I thought she should believe about healing, she gently said that true faith is simple trust in God even when things don't go our way. Even when we pray and don't see an answer, we accept that we are not able to see "the full picture" and cannot always know why things have to be the way they are. I eventually learned that she was right.

    My wife finally was operated on, and had 1/3 of her colon removed. She's been on disability ever since. Am I angry about that? No. God is still God, and I will trust Him no matter the circumstances. He never promised that life would be a bowl of cherries (sometimes it seems like it isn't even a handful of pits), but all glory to God for His grace which is sufficient.

    Now when I pray for someone to be healed or for a good resolution to a problem or whatever, I always thank God that I know He will do all He can do within the confines of His greater, over-arching plans and purposes for all people, a plan too large for me to understand or be fully privy to, and that I will always trust Him no matter whether I get what I want or not.

    Jesus prayed, "Nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done." If God the Son could submit to the will of the Father, and if I am supposed to emulate Jesus, I also need to submit to the will of the Father. Even when it's unpleasant or life-shattering. I am not all-knowing; He is.

    We live in a fallen world, a world under the curse due to sin. Bad things happening are a part of that curse, and we can never know (this side of heaven) the full reasons why a certain unpleasant thing needed to happen. Was it to the benefit of someone else's salvation? Or what?

    But always remember that in this world we are sojourners, nomads living in temporary tents called "bodies." Our future is bright! Sooner than we think, we will be in the intimate presence of Almighty God, He will wipe away our tears for all time, and we shall leap and rejoice in Him forever.
     
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  7. judd

    judd New Member

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    Good luck Laine. I don’t have much better spiritual advice. I used to blame God for a lot when I was younger, culminating in my divorce, and to the point that I, regrettably, walked as a card carrying atheist for many years.

    On that note, mindful meditation could be worth a try, if you’re interested I could provide more info.
     
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  8. Br. Thomas

    Br. Thomas Active Member

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    I agree with the advantage of mindful meditation. I have much to say that is positive in learning of such a thing over the years. I honestly believe my life reflects upon a book called, "Without Buddha, I Could Not Be a Good Christian". Such meditation and contact with the practitioners over the years have taught me of non-attachment, letting go and clearing one's mind. It honestly did teach me to reflect on being a better Christian very well. I have had a roller-coaster life in my Christian ways. I now feel secure in my beliefs and comfortable in saying I have surrendered myself to God. Good luck to you and God bless.
     
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  9. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Active Member

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    When I was at my lowest in my life, after years of bad things happening to me, I decided to make a pilgrimage and I walked the Camino through France and Spain. When I found myself alone on the trail, I would scream at God and blame him for everything and ask why he would make me go through such things when I tried so hard to love him and serve him. It took weeks and weeks of this before I was drained enough to actually stop shouting, and to listen more. Afterwards I returned to Australia and stopped attending church for five years. I developed a different kind of relationship with God during this time and actually became closer to him than ever before.

    I can't say things got better right away, they didn't, but I learned to ask for different things. Instead of asking for good things, I asked for strength to cope with the bad, and for peace of mind and heart.

    At one point in time I decided to return to church, but that is when I decided I could no longer be a RC and joined an Anglican church instead. The acceptance and love and companionship that this parish showed to me from the moment I started attending made me feel welcomed by God.

    My way was probably a radical one, and not for everyone, but the important thing I think is to either 'take a break' or find a new way to look at things. I like the idea of mindful meditation very much. I was a Carmelite nun for years, and we spent hours each day in silent meditation. If you can't walk a pilgrimage, then try going deeply inside, it is like a pilgrimage for the mind and heart. A word of warning though, deep meditation can open you up to unsettling thoughts and feelings if you are not getting some kind of direction. Take care.

    God bless you.
     
  10. Shane R

    Shane R Well-Known Member

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    I have long thought Tobit was a much more productive read for those struggling with adverse circumstances than Job. It's shorter, more focused, and more relatable.
     
  11. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    Tobit, or not Tobit; that is the question. ;)
     
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  12. Tiffy

    Tiffy Well-Known Member

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    Depends whether one agrees with Article VI concerning whether Tobit is an example of life and an instruction in manners, I suppose. I found it an interesting read, if a bit fanciful.
    .
     
  13. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Thank you, Tiffy. No, it certainly doesn't make me "feel better", or should I put that in bold to continue your theme? I am not ignorant (if that's what you're implying). I am hurting, trying to make sense of my situation. But thanks for your kindness and understanding....
     
  14. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Rexlion, thank you so much for your candor and walking me through your experience. You and your family have had a tough go of it. I'm sorry.

    I think you hit on my stumbling block. You wrote:
    "At the time I was in a church which taught that if we had enough faith in God, He would bring us through any situation in victory; He would definitely heal us, prosper us, etc."

    I am, I believe, reverting to my black / white days in a fundamental Baptist church for some reason. Those teachings always brought out the worst in me. I joined the Episcopal Church in 2004, and was just beginning to regain my sanity from the need to suffer (after several years as a Catholic ["offer it up"]) when constant travel due to work pulled me from building a new and stronger faith foundation. I'd already had 25 years of incredible misfortune. I was about to return to being more active in church when even more difficulties (putting it lightly) developed and then COVID hit. The isolation from having a caring support system has taken a great toll.

    Slowly, I'm pulling myself out of this mire which is how I found this forum — desperately searching for conversation and encouragement. I can give that as well, contribute, but right now, I've got to find a few ropes to help me up.

    I thank you for your reply, Rexlion.
     
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  15. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Thank you, Judd. Because of several circumstances, I find it extremely hard to meditate or contemplate right now. But I appreciate your reply. I don't want to fall off the atheist cliff and am clinging on to anything I can right now. i'm glad you found your way back.
     
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  16. Laine

    Laine New Member

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    Sounds like you have a book waiting to be written, Annie Grace! Your account is very helpful and I thank you so much.
     
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  17. Rexlion

    Rexlion Well-Known Member

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    My pleasure; you are most welcome! :yes:

    I can now look back at some of the dark valleys we've been in and say, "No big deal." Even though it was always dark and uncertain in the valleys, we plodded on and plodded on, and eventually found ourselves on hilltops where everything was bright and sunny. The dark valleys behind us hold no mystery and no fear. It will be the same for you.

    Psa 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    Don't get completely mired (lose hope) in the deepest part of valley; lean on His loving Presence within you, trust in His grace, and keep walking through (which mean's you're climbing out of) that valley. ...and let us run with patience the race that is set before us (Heb. 12:1).

    Mountaintop experiences await. :)
     
  18. Br. Thomas

    Br. Thomas Active Member

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    Stay strong and believe in the God that has walked us all through trials and tribulations. God is not called to take the problems away from us nor ease them. He is there to guide us through and walk with us to the other side. God bless you.
     
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  19. CRfromQld

    CRfromQld Moderator Staff Member

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    Hello Laine, I had to think about this for a while. I suspect everyone feels this way sometimes; at least I do.

    God created a world that was “very good” and we should experience all sorts of natural blessings, not by the direct intervention of God, but just by living in that world.

    But mankind rebelled against God and we and the world were cursed as a result. Thus there are now many “bad and inconvenient” things that we experience, again not by the direct intervention of God but just by existing in this world.

    If you think God can and should fix things to make it easier then just look at the prophets and the Apostles. Life was not easy for any of them, rather they glorified God by remaining faithful and proclaiming His word in spite of the bad and inconvenient things they experienced. A misdirected mail package pales into insignificance.

    Now for some unqualified comments except for some life experience.

    Why are you alone? Is it because of how you are behaving? To make friends you have to first be a friend. Do you act in a friendly way to others? Do you drive potential friends away by dumping your problems on them? Do you go to church or other places where you can make quality friends?

    Example: We joined the local community garden to make friends and have a worthwhile hobby. But it means we have to turn up for gardening days, happily do the jobs that are required on that day, and act in a friendly manner to the other gardeners. By making ourselves open to friendship we make friends.

    Example: I have endogenous depression. When I’m depressed I’m not a nice person. With medical treatment my symptoms have been largely relieved. This doesn’t make me a perfect person, it just restores me to normal where I’m a mixture of angel and a***hole.

    I don’t know much of your circumstances. Perhaps you do need professional help in some areas but perhaps there are things you can do to help yourself.
     
  20. Tiffy

    Tiffy Well-Known Member

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    Aren't we all! :laugh: I'm pleased that you at least spelled it correctly under the asterisks. I'm reading a book by an American who keeps spelling it 'ass', which does not make much sense and is senselessly rude to donkeys. :laugh:
    .
     
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