Will you guys forgive me, please?

Discussion in 'Family, Relationships, and Single Life' started by strelitziaflower, Jan 14, 2022.

Tags:
  1. strelitziaflower

    strelitziaflower Member

    Posts:
    88
    Likes Received:
    31
    Country:
    Prefer not to say
    Religion:
    Roman Catholic
    I am a devout Roman Catholic; I used to use Catholic Answers Forum a lot and did grow a little there. However, very unfortunately, I still suffer from heavy scruples and depression.

    Scruples in the eyes of a Roman Catholic is a bit different, you must understand.

    I feel terrible for my arrogant posts; I am really wasting your time and possibly irritating you?

    I really thought this forum would help, but I see that this struggle of mine, with psychiatric help I am currently seeking, is possibly a struggle I will have for life.

    Please forgive me.
     
    Cooper and Kenmtb like this.
  2. Botolph

    Botolph Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,276
    Likes Received:
    2,529
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican
    You are welcome among us, we are enriched by your presence. We are in the main people who stand in the great tradition of Anglican Spirituality, which stands independently of the Roman Catholic Tradition. We adhere in the main to the same creed, we focus our attention and worship on the same Lord, and we have different approaches to a number aspects of our shared faith. The origins of English Spirituality lie in tmes before the Augustinian Mission, yet despite the stresses and the strains we face in the current era, Canterbury still holds a special place in Anglican Hearts.

    We are all here to live and learn, and help each other on the journey. Part of the key to that is always going to be found in mutual respect.

    Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Self-Control, Faithfulness
     
    Cooper, Clayton, Kenmtb and 1 other person like this.
  3. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA
    Welcome. PLEase stay. There was and is nothing to forgive
     
    Cooper, Kenmtb, Tiffy and 1 other person like this.
  4. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    242
    Likes Received:
    276
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican (Australia)
    This is one of the reasons (I have many) why I left the Roman Catholic Church and became an Anglican. The heavy focus of sin seems to lead a lot of people into scruples about everything they do or say. Of course, there is usually an underlying mental illness involved (OCD for example) but the RC church just feeds that obsession about every little sin (is it venial or is it mortal, etc).

    I hope you find peace here.
     
    Cooper and Br. Thomas like this.
  5. CRfromQld

    CRfromQld Moderator Staff Member

    Posts:
    429
    Likes Received:
    198
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican
    We have some things in common
    • I suffer from depression
    • I'm seeing a psychologist
    • I sometimes say things I regret
    Let's both stay.
     
    dhm, Kenmtb and agraciousframe like this.
  6. PDL

    PDL Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    1,086
    Likes Received:
    839
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Religion:
    Church of England
    Forgive you for what?

    I don't think you should leave the forum. I think it's best use would be for you to pose questions about faith, particularly Anglicanism, or to participate in threads other members have started.

    It really isn't the place for your mental health to be dealt with. That's very must best left to the professional care of your psychaitrist.

    May be just some careful thought prior to posting is all that's required rather than leaving the forum.
     
    Kenmtb, Tiffy, Br. Thomas and 2 others like this.
  7. agraciousframe

    agraciousframe New Member Anglican

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Country:
    United States
    Religion:
    Christian, Anglican
    I can identify with this. There was a time time where my untreated depression and mania became so intertwined with small religious scruples and denominational uncertainty that I completely walked away from religion. With proper help I have been able to make the approach again. Very real and tough times.
     
    Annie Grace likes this.
  8. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    242
    Likes Received:
    276
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican (Australia)
    The more any religion focuses on sin, the more I want to get it away from it these days. I think focusing on the negative only makes one more inclined to be negative. It is so much more refreshing to focus on God and love - and saving grace. I am not saying that evil and sin don't exist, but for me, it's better to turn away from those things rather than focus on them all the time. I try to focus on Jesus, and the love of God through the incarnation. God can take care of the sin, as indeed he has done in the sacrifice made by his son.

    I had a dream once where I was in hospital and feeling very vulnerable. A dark and malevolent force appeared at the door of my hospital room but before I could even start to worry about it, Jesus appeared and told the force that it had no power here as I belonged to the light, and his presence drove the dark force away. Then Jesus just smiled at me and I woke up. That's how I feel now - that I belong to him and as long as I focus on him, then I have nothing to worry about.

    But when I was in the RCC, even that didn't seem to be enough because there was always this fear of sinning accidentally, even though the very definition of mortal sin makes this almost impossible. To commit a mortal sin, the matter must be grave and serious, the person must have full knowledge of the gravity of the sin, and the person must commit the sin with full consent of the will. Who in their right mind would commit such an act, knowing full well it would separate them from God? And yet, millions of Catholics are always going to confession in fear of having committed a mortal sin. It is basically an obsession with sin, instead of an obsession with God!

    I laud the reason behind the fear of sin - it is really a fear of offending God and being separated from him, but it is so much more comforting to trust in the love and grace of God, and in his mercy and compassion. Staying in a state of humble gratitude is much more pleasant than being in a state of constant fear. Just my few thoughts on the matter.
     
  9. Clayton

    Clayton Active Member

    Posts:
    178
    Likes Received:
    108
    Country:
    United States
    Ronan Catholic fora are depressing in themselves. They are usually a flood of poor souls begging someone to give them an answer whether or not they’ve committed terrible sins and will spend thousands of years in purgatory.
     
    Annie Grace likes this.
  10. Ananias

    Ananias Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    842
    Likes Received:
    706
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    ACNA
    I've often said that God is love, but that's not all he is. We must always bask in the love and grace of God through his son Jesus Christ, but we must also always bear in mind that God's holiness requires a hatred of sin. Any sin. "Fear of The Lord is the beginning of wisdom" says Proverbs 9:10; Paul expands on this in saying, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them." (Rom. 1:18-19)

    Too many professing Christians feel like God is such a nice fellow that he will tolerate any level of sin -- that in the end, all will be saved no matter how they behave. This is a deadly folly, as Paul explains later in his great letter to the Church in Rome.

    It is a bad thing to focus too much on the negative, to be sure. We should be joyous in our life in Christ. We have been reborn through Christ our Lord as new, better people with the assurance of eternal life. But at the same time we must not neglect the reality of sin, its corrosive effect and the danger of ignoring it. We do not condemn our Christian sisters and brothers without attending to the plank in our own eye, however -- sin finds fertile ground in hypocrisy. We are not the judges of those who are sunk in sin; Christ is their judge. We may properly rebuke the sinful (especially ourselves!) and call them to repent, but we must also comfort, encourage, and uplift our Christian brothers and sisters. We are all sinners. None is righteous. (See Rom. 3:9-19.) When we rebuke others of sins of which we ourselves are guilty, we bring more judgement on ourselves than those we rebuke.

    The Christian life should be one of peace, joy, and zeal to do God's will. We understand that we are fallen people who live in a fallen world. We understand that we will experience hardship and pain and loss in this world -- but our joy comes in knowing that we live in and with and by and for God, and that our pain here is but a tiny thing compared to the eternal glory that is to come.
     
    Upward Trajectory and ByOldEyes like this.
  11. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    242
    Likes Received:
    276
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican (Australia)

    It is posts like this that make me glad I don't focus on sin so much anymore. The whole tone is one of sin, sin, sin and not Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. If he died for our sins, then why spend so much time focusing on them?

    Sure, if you are an abuser or a thief or a murderer etc, then you have to stop doing what you are doing and repent. But most of us are just fallible human beings who make mistakes, but don't commit daily mortal sins. We might hurt someone's feeling by accident and then feel bad about it. We might get impatient with someone or something or we might show irritation when we shouldn't. But these are not super sins that need atonement. They are human weaknesses that need correcting and an effort to do better.

    I don't know, maybe a lot of you out there are committing horrible sins every day, but that's not my life. Loving God helps a person to avoid sin. Focusing on sin to love God just seems contradictory to me. It reminds me of when I used to go to confession every two weeks, thinking it would bring me closer to God. All it did was make me worry about trying to concoct things to confess to the priest. It became really petty and counter-productive. And instead of thinking about God's love, I was thinking about sin. Bad move IMO.

    I believe that God IS loving and forgiving or he wouldn't have sent his son to take on our burden of sin. He is also justice, but for most of us, living our little lives, he is not severe, he is mercy. If he can forgive even those who do horrible acts and then repent, he can forgive us our little transgressions. I will continue to focus on his love and mercy, although I probably wouldn't use the term 'nice fellow' to describe him. To me, that trivializes just how immense his love and mercy are.

    I guess whatever point of view keeps you close to God and gives you peace is the one that makes sense for you.
     
    ZachT, Br. Thomas, Invictus and 2 others like this.
  12. Clayton

    Clayton Active Member

    Posts:
    178
    Likes Received:
    108
    Country:
    United States
    Well put, Annie
     
    Annie Grace likes this.
  13. Annie Grace

    Annie Grace Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    242
    Likes Received:
    276
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican (Australia)
    Thanks, Clayton.
     
  14. Adrian1963

    Adrian1963 New Member

    Posts:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Country:
    UK
    Religion:
    Church of England
    We are all fallible human beings and we all slip up, usually more by accident than intent. However God is good and His mercy is infinite. Life's burdens become easier to bear if we remind ourselves of that truth.
     
  15. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA
    You have nothing to apologize for. We are glad to have you here and I will pray for you
     
    Clayton likes this.