How many kids would you want to ideally have

Discussion in 'Family, Relationships, and Single Life' started by bwallac2335, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA
    Ideally I would love to have a house full. I would want at bare minimum three up to I don't know maybe 8 or how many God would bless me with. I think one thing to help take back the culture and the world is for Christians to start having more kids.
     
  2. Botolph

    Botolph Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,276
    Likes Received:
    2,529
    Country:
    Australia
    Religion:
    Anglican
    Be careful what you wish for. Children are the roses in the family, so whilst they are a great blessing they don't come without thorns.
     
    Cooper and mediaque like this.
  3. anglican74

    anglican74 Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    1,340
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    Anglican (ACNA)
    As many as possible, goes without saying... Children are such a great blessing, and while the secular culture tries to scare us with poverty in the case of children, I once reflected on the fact that I had never heard of any family becoming homeless of going on the street "because they had too many children!"
     
  4. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA
    I already have one so I know a bit of what I am getting myself into.
     
    Cooper and Stalwart like this.
  5. Magistos

    Magistos Active Member Anglican

    Posts:
    179
    Likes Received:
    138
    Country:
    United States
    Religion:
    Anglican (ACNA)
    Three, which is what I have.
    The family feels complete, and my wife feels the same way.
     
    Cooper likes this.
  6. Liturgyworks

    Liturgyworks Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    760
    Likes Received:
    442
    Country:
    US
    Religion:
    Christian Orthodoxy
    I think three or four would be a good number, as a minimum, but more would be a blessing. Jacob-Rees Mogg, a man whose cultural values I admire, has six. Fr. Josiah Trenham, an Antiochian Orthodox priest in Southern California who is an outspoken critic of abortion and homosexuality, has eight or nine. He remarks they make an odd sight, with him wearing a black Greek Orthodox-style cassock (which looks quite different from the style of cassock preferred by Anglicans, Roman Catholics and also Syriac Orthodox), followed by a veritable parade of children. And he is very happy. My Assyrian friend Fr. Ephrem I think is up to five now.

    There is a common theme here and it is the rejection of contraception. I myself don’t believe in contraception. The main reason why I might not have any children is I have not ruled out the possibility of becoming a monk.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2019
    Cooper likes this.
  7. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA

    My girlfriend and I, which are talking about marriage, both don't want contraception. We don't want it for different reasons. She also wants 4 kids. The only problem facing us is that we will at least be 28 for her at marriage and 35 for me. Age might be a factor on how many kids we can have.
     
  8. Lowly Layman

    Lowly Layman Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    2,722
    Likes Received:
    2,488
    Ideally, however many God sees fit to bless one with...Which is why contraception is such a poor choice for Christians (excluding those who have medical reasons for doing so).
     
    Cooper and Stalwart like this.
  9. Stalwart

    Stalwart Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    2,723
    Likes Received:
    2,563
    Country:
    America
    Religion:
    Anglican
    I just had my 2nd child born, a little baby daughter (we are exhausted and thankful and blessed). For your wife to start at 28 isn't too late at all. You have until she's 40 before any health risks develop. God be with you on the journey!

    As to the OP, while I too have my "ideal number" (4...), I've also learned from history that it is dangerous to direct your family towards "family planning". The secular culture has turned conjugal relations into recreation, completely divorced from new life, which is something I seek to avoid at all costs. Don't want to have children? Don't have conjugal relations. It's a tough pill to swallow, one I am still struggling with, but I know what the right answer is, and will continue praying to God to enlighten my wife and me with greater understanding, as I do not want to orient my soul with the heathens.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2019
  10. bwallac2335

    bwallac2335 Well-Known Member

    Posts:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    1,008
    Religion:
    ACNA
    Health problems might not increase until 40 but fertility decreases at 35. I would be fine with 7 or even more.
     
    Cooper likes this.
  11. S. DeVault

    S. DeVault Member

    Posts:
    37
    Likes Received:
    26
    Country:
    United States
    Religion:
    Anglican
    If I got to choose, four. Two girls, two boys
     
  12. Cooper

    Cooper Active Member Anglican

    Posts:
    107
    Likes Received:
    54
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    Episcopal
    Get your brood when you are young.
    Spend your hoary days in prayer.

    :tiphat:
     
    Traveler likes this.
  13. mark fisher

    mark fisher Member Anglican

    Posts:
    71
    Likes Received:
    12
    Country:
    canada
    Religion:
    high church anglican
    maybe 4-6
     
  14. Clayton

    Clayton Active Member

    Posts:
    178
    Likes Received:
    108
    Country:
    United States
    Three at least, probably four or five. I’d welcome as many as I could manage, though my youthful prodigality has left me with far fewer on account of my late start.
     
  15. Br. Thomas

    Br. Thomas Active Member

    Posts:
    203
    Likes Received:
    147
    Country:
    U.S.A.
    Religion:
    Anglican Catholic
    My wife and I are both now 70. We had two sons. We lost a daughter. Health issues arose for my wife, so she could no longer conceive. So, two it is. I grew up in a social culture that was filled with naysayers and doomsdayers. Only have two to replace you and wife was the common thing heard. That way, there would be zero-population growth. Well, so much for that philosophy. Sex outside marriage became a social issue and very open amongst my era. Woodstock, Vietnam, protests and free-love dominated the scene. Abortion became a socially accepted form of birth-control.

    We are perfectly fine with two sons in our lives. One son is married with a step-son. The other is unmarried and will remain so. One can pontificate about extremes one way or another on this matter. I am perfectly fine with what we have been dealt. God sees fit to guide us on our journey of Life.
     
    Stalwart and Clayton like this.
  16. PDL

    PDL Well-Known Member Anglican

    Posts:
    1,086
    Likes Received:
    839
    Country:
    United Kingdom
    Religion:
    Church of England
    With hindsight I'd say none. Sorry, just kidding:D

    I have three and love them dearly.

    I don't think there is an ideal number. It has to vary with couples and their circumstances. We didn't plan how many children we had. Three just came along. After the birth of our third child we did think with three children, full-time jobs and and household to run we had enough on our plate. However, a fourth child wouldn't have been regretted but as loved as the other three. Neither did we have any regrets that no more came along.
     
    Br. Thomas, bwallac2335 and Stalwart like this.
  17. Traveler

    Traveler Member

    Posts:
    50
    Likes Received:
    38
    Country:
    USA
    Religion:
    RC, moving to Anglican
    Ideally, three. Unfortunately, my experience with family matters has hardly been ideal. It looks like I'm one and done.