Hello everyone. I have had belief for most of my life, with moments of doubt and many of failing. I was born in the middle 50's with the traditional introduction to God at school in England in the 60's and early 70's. Religious assemblies at school, occasional church services and religious education. I did attend Sunday school for a while in childhood. I did not come from a religious household, although I suspect my mother had faith. I feel that in my sinning ways ,I have, at times, taken God's love for granted, and cannot rid myself of this feeling. It is such a joy to have found this forum.
Hi, glad you're here. I think the feeling that you've messed up in the past is a common one, and if it tends to motivate you toward better behavior for the sake of your love for the Lord, that's okay. But if the feeling is not constructive and is just beating you down emotionally, then it's time to 'cast your cares upon the Lord, because he cares for you' (1 Peter 5:7). A Christian receives forgiveness, by faith in Christ, for all of his sins. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit (Romans 8:1). All you have to do is ask the Holy Spirit to take away (alleviate) the feeling of guilt, and then praise and thank Him for His help. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). When sin has been washed away by the blood of Jesus, any feelings of guilt that might be returning over and over to a person's mind could be the whispers of some demonic spirit that's trying to keep the person beaten down and discouraged. But the power of God is greater than any evil presence! Far greater is He who lives in the believer than any other being in this world (1 John 4:4).
All your religion in schools thing is courtesy of the 1944 Butler Act ( The Education Act 1944 (7 and 8 Geo 6 c. 31).It was drawn up with consultation with Archbishop Temple. You can probably be assured that you parents weren't anti religious because under this act your parents had the right to withdraw you from Religious Education.