Deliverance from a sick and conceited heart

Discussion in 'Prayers' started by DouayJamesGeneva, Mar 25, 2018.

  1. Aidan

    Aidan Well-Known Member

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    Brother, as a trained nurse it worries me that you feel so negatively about your psychiatrist. I'm certain that he does not "love to torture" his patients.
     
  2. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    This is a serious matter. The man is truly a draconian nutcase who has been abusive to me. I didn't say he was chaining me to a chair and burning me with a blowtorch, but he has viciously attacked my religious beliefs, calling my faith stupid and that it does nothing for me, acts cold and disconnected, laughs at things regarding my trouble that aren't funny, is very confrontational, and everything else. I am asking for prayers that I'll be delivered from his grip and find a psychiatrist that is faith based or at least respects my views. I've been attacked by both him and other employees in the office and yelled at in the past for supporting biblical convictions. It caused me a lot of anxiety, and again since I started remembering the events in the last day or two. I have told my mom about all this, and my dad knows the man is a creep as he sat with me during one session, where the man had the nerve to get rude towards him. I need the deliverance and grace of the Lord to manage my way out of this and towards someone who cares. The kinds of attacks I suffered from several sides at one time in the office shows these people are truly under some demonic influence. I have seen more success from behavioral/therapy groups that showed more compassion and respect than what is offered by psychiatrists, who supposedly have all the 'keys'. Every psychiatrist I have ever been to was vicious like this. They pretend to seem friendly but switch to rude and arrogant on the spot. It's scary and causing me a lot of anxiety as we plan to handle the situation as best we can. Please pray for us!
     
  3. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    It seems I'll be cancelling my next appointment with this man. He caused stress and hurt on both me (and one time my father during a session) by telling us that the soul and brain are the same thing and that psychology and neuroscience already explained everything about it so there's no arguments left for God or the spirit. We were weighed down by it. My dad asked him, "How can they explain consciousness and all that?" and the psychiatrist acted excited and said, "That's Evolution! Isn't it just wonderful?" and smiled, and we were not moved by it at all, and then he said, "Not interested? OK, then. It's still a lie. Some people feel they need it but I'm not going to respect that. If you feel you'll commit suicide without God, then commit suicide. I don't have pity for you, it's survival of the fittest, that's all it is." He was very aggressive and cold, and I feel the man was under some influence. He also as I mentioned laughed everytime he said something to put us down and he constantly laughed about things that caused us pain whenever he could demonstrate his 'education', but things like him saying racial inequality was not a controversial idea and publicly accepted made me question his cultural awareness. Like he said, he is from the filipines but thinks most filipinos are inferior and stupid except the ones like him which are an exception, and he even joked that blacks were not good at much besides sports and music. We're switching counselors and psychiatrists to escape from him. It all started sometime back when we had a casual conversation about my beliefs and he felt the need to just but in and attack my beliefs while chuckling and laughing the whole time he was doing it, as if it was a trivial thing that people do every day.
     
  4. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    I am finally out of the hands of this psychiatrist and will be seeing a new doctor. However, I am afraid that he may have used some secret information to blot my record with future doctors. I am not sure if he actually has the power to do this or has done this at all, but please pray that I will be OK and my relationship with my new doctor will go well. Trusting the Lord to help me get out of this situation.
     
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  5. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    Thank you for support. I need prayer because I am on the verge of apostasy or feel that way. I feel like we are already past needing God to motivate us to be good or moral, that Jesus died for sins that weren't a big deal so we don't need him and that we can't feel sorry about the idea of dying for sins that didn't need such a dramatic sacrifice, the idea of a lot of the sins condemned in the bible being trivial and that God is prudish in condemning relatively innocent 'sins', the embarrassing fact that some non-Christians seem good enough or more deserving of going to heaven than some Christians and yet it won't count unless you believe in Jesus, etc.

    I have heard that being double-minded is a grave sin and that I could even essentially be a non-believer, either because the holy spirit does not exist and people I see in the church are not really changed, or because I've been hardened for refusing to sincerely repent of certain sins after asking for forgiveness, which means I am cut off for good and on my way to hell. I really don't know what to believe. I am hoping to try and understand things better, I do not want to give up the faith, but I've been struggling with these issues my whole life, and only in certain moments do I find relief, for a time. I feel I may have actually never believed in any of this at all, and am actually a non-believer who only clings to this out of respect for his peers and family, but yet I do see some evidence that there is a supernatural realm, that there are miracles, and that Christianity has helped people in ways other religions haven't. It's just that people are supposed to be able to understand the things that defy rationality if they have the holy spirit, supposedly.
     
  6. Botolph

    Botolph Well-Known Member

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    writing-in-sand.jpg

    Lord, I pray,
    every time I am tempted to be judgmental help me to remember
    your finger tracing in the dust of my humanity,
    from whence I was called, and to which I shall return.
    May we be transformed by the redemptive power of your love,
    in Jesus Name. Amen.
     
  7. JoeLaughon

    JoeLaughon Member Anglican

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    DJG,

    A prayer I always felt very strongly about during my near-unbelieving times is "Lord I believe, help Thou with mine unbelief."
     
  8. Aidan

    Aidan Well-Known Member

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    Dear brother, if you recite the rosary frequently, you will receive clarity.
     
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  9. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    Aidan, to put it nicely, if it isn't clear by now, the advice you generally give on this forum tends to be rather silly. I stopped praying the Anglican rosary because it was not helping me, but may have actually made my situation worse, as some repetitive meditation rituals do. It works for some people, but there are enough similarities between the Buddhist and the Catholic practices, that I wouldn't be surprised if even the Catholic ones can cause the same problems. Some of the excessive grief expressed by many famous monastics may have actually been worsened by these silly rituals. Also, if you are referring to the Roman Catholic rosary--which I will not pray because I do not believe in invoking Mary or the saints--remember the words of Mother Teresa, who probably prayed many of them during her lifetime:

    "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you will trust God."
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018 at 4:29 PM
  10. Aidan

    Aidan Well-Known Member

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    I apologise for any "silly advice" imparted to anyone and you remain in my prayers brother in Christ , DJG
     
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  11. Lowly Layman

    Lowly Layman Well-Known Member Anglican

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    I find the Rosary a great comfort in my times of stress and disquiet, brother. I see nothing silly in one fellow disciple offering another a devotional practice that they found helped. I think it comes from a very beautiful place. Never feel shy in offering me advice, friend. I find it quite helpful and very kind of you to think my issues are important enough to bother replying. Not silly in the least.
     
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  12. Magistos

    Magistos Member Anglican

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    Aidan/Lowly Layman - I do not pray the RCC Rosary, but I have recently received a couple of "Anglican Prayer Beads". I find them useful as a tactile reminder in my pocket, or around/in my hands when praying, or doing the occasional meditative prayer using the Trisagion. I'm still learning how best I want to use them. I suffer from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and it is a good centering device for my head/emotions which can occasionally bounce around like a new golf ball teed off in a tile bathroom. Nothing magical, or even spiritual...just an aid.

    Never shy from giving me advice either.

    DJG - I am sorry you are hurting. You are in my prayers, as pitiful as they may be.
     
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  13. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    Don't worry, I still appreciate your kind intentions anyways despite our differences.

    And I am not completely sure if the rosary was the source of my recent anxieties, I just felt it correlated to that and common concerns regarding meditation practices that may or may not have influenced it. Like I said, if it has been helping you, by all means, use it. Maybe I'll pick up the practice again in the future if I find that whatever was the cause of my recent anxieties and swarm of negative memories was not the rosary itself.

    Thank you for your continued support, friends. I'm trusting in God and my Christian brethren's prayers to slay this dragon I am facing.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018 at 7:51 PM
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  14. Aidan

    Aidan Well-Known Member

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    The sensation of "fingering" the beads and the use of mantra of themselves can be both therapeutic and an aid to meditation. The mind should never be emptied as in yoga as this can create a vacuum into which an evil entity might enter
     
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  15. DouayJamesGeneva

    DouayJamesGeneva Active Member

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    I am in even more pain. A relative of mine is sensitive to believing in internet conspiracy theories, and now has become a believer in one that will basically put genuine Christians involved in scientific fields in the crossfire in order to support it. Conspiracies really do victimize people. This is all while I am battling immense demons. I am concerned because I don't like seeing my relatives brainwashed or oppressed like that. This battle is getting worse.
     

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